Dating a 40 year old man in your 20s

When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match. We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person's history is years or decades longer than the other's? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks. While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger man , the dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is significant. Three years later, search husbandnotdad on Instagram and you'll find a collection of smiling couples; on Twitter , the same hashtag's happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton's point. When women over 40 find themselves drawn to someone who's older, they are less of a target for those who cry 'daddy issues.

For women over 30, dating can be a minefield. There are fewer single people generally, and yes, there will be some men your age specifically seeking out younger women. We live in a society that worships at the altar of youth — particularly when it comes to women. Indeed, because women have primarily been valued for their beauty, a concept deeply rooted in ideas of youth, women are socially devalued as they get older.

What do you say about the reverse? I mean, I can see why an older man would want to date a younger woman — physically that is, but why would a year-old woman want to date a man 45 or more? I can totally understand why older men go for younger women. Time creates wisdom — but it also creates responsibilities and complications — mortgage, kids, career, etc. All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older.

In college I studied Computer Science and forgot how to talk to women. As the only straight woman within reach, I soon became the de facto dating consultant for my male friends, despite my waning expertise. But what I soon realized was that sometimes the best way to date is to go off script.