Help shy teen make friends

Shyness is a common but little understood emotion. Everyone has felt ambivalent or self-conscious in new social situations. This digest 1 describes types and manifestations of shyness, 2 reviews research on genetic, temperamental, and environmental influences on shyness, 3 distinguishes between normal and problematic shyness, and 4 suggests ways to help the shy child. The basic feeling of shyness is universal, and may have evolved as an adaptive mechanism used to help individuals cope with novel social stimuli. Shyness is felt as a mix of emotions, including fear and interest, tension and pleasantness. Increase in heart rate and blood pressure may occur.

This stress is felt by many teens. Shy or not, all teens have a natural desire to have friends their own age. Bryan and Kari noticed their son Jacob becoming more distant and agitated as summer was winding down and his first school day as a high school freshman drew near. Jacob spent more time than usual by himself in his bedroom playing games on his iPad.

For many people, this is a very uncomfortable situation. They may feel worried about making a good impression, or concerned that people may not like them. They may worry about making small talk or finding something to say. These types of worries are very common.

Being unpopular during adolescence, however, can inflict deep, long-lasting psychological wounds. Youngsters who grow up as social outcasts may be more likely to misbehave, feel depressed and do poorly in school. When a youngster lacks friends, parents should be concerned regardless of whether she complains about her situation.